aimlessly she said

Finally Moved

2008-11-06T06:37:00.001-08:00

It's been forever since I've posted anything. Sorry about that. It's been crazy around my house. We signed papers on the house October 3rd and finally moved in over the past weekend. Internet is not connected yet either. I will attempt to post a picture of the new house sometime soon. I'm more excited now that we are actually living in the house. Of course, everything is still in complete disarray but other than that I'm happy about the house. Anything going on that I missed?

I'm buying a house!

2008-09-04T12:17:00.000-07:00

Yay! I'm buying a house. I'm so excited and nervous all at the same time. Actually, I'm probably about 80% sick to my stomach and only 20% excited. :) I'm sure it will get better after the papers are signed and we're moving in.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty

2008-07-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

Ok well maybe not quite pretty but hell I'm happy! I've lost 43 lbs total so far! I'm so happy and can't wait to keep going. I haven't written anything in awhile and just thought I'd share. Things have been going really well lately. Gosh I hate to even write that b/c that always starts a chain of bad events. :) Oh well. If I lose another 10 lbs, I'll weigh less than my middle sister. I have NEVER weighed less than her in my ENTIRE life. It's not really a big deal but I've always been the big sister in every sense of the word.

I'm also only 7 lbs away from meeting one of my goals of a 50lb weight loss! Whoo hoo! Ok I'm just excited and I'll shut up now. As for the rest of my list, I'm working on a whole bunch of the goals at once and some will just take awhile. Wish me luck and I hope everyone else is doing as well as I am for once.

25 Movies to watch during my 1001 days

2008-07-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

1. THE GODFATHER
2. GONE WITH THE WIND
3. SCHINDLER’S LIST
4. VERTIGO
5. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
6. PULP FICTION *
7. ALIEN
8. AMERICAN GRAFFITI
9. BEING JOHN MALKOVICH
10. THE BIG CHILL
11. BLADE RUNNER
12. BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S
13. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
14. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND
15. COOL HAND LUKE
16. THE DEER HUNTER
17. EASY RIDER
18. FIVE EASY PIECES
19. LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY
20. NORTH BY NORTHWEST
21. ON GOLDEN POND
22. PHILADELPHIA
23. A RAISIN IN THE SUN
24. THE BIG SLEEP
25. SAVING PRIVATE RYAN

*Note: Some of these I have seen parts of or as a child

Time Flies....

2008-06-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

This year has gotten waaay out of control. I promise that I'm not just getting old. It was January the other day and now it's June. What the heck? I don't really have a lot to say but it just hit me today that the year is half gone. I haven't done anything productive, made this year count, etc. *sigh* Maybe next year will be better....

30 Books to read during my 1001 days

2008-06-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

1. A TOWN LIKE ALICE by Nevil Shute
2. SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut
3. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac
4. ONE LONELY NIGHT by Mickey Spillane
5. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
6. THE HANDMAID'S TALE by Margaret Atwood
7. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
8. THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP by John Irving --Very good by the way
9. WATERSHIP DOWN by Richard Adams
10. THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER by Tom Clancy
11. NAKED LUNCH by William S. Burroughs
12. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE by James M. Cain
13. TOBACCO ROAD by Erskine Caldwell
14. FINNEGANS WAKE by James Joyce
15. THE HOUSE OF MIRTH by Edith Wharton
16. A ROOM WITH A VIEW by E.M. Forster
17. FRANNY AND ZOOEY by J.D. Salinger
18. A WRINKLE IN TIME by Madeleine L’Engle
19. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA by C.S. Lewis
20. TENDER IS THE NIGHT by F. Scott Fitzgerald
21. CAT'S CRADLE by Kurt Vonnegut
22. THE BIG SLEEP by Raymond Chandler
23. DELIVERANCE by James Dickey
24. GONE WITH THE WIND by Margaret Mitchell
25. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
26. THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD by Zora Neale Hurston
27. PLAY IT AS IT LAYS by Joan Didion
28. AT SWIM-TWO-BIRDS by Flann O'Brien
29. PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT by Philip Roth (maybe)
30. GRAVITY'S RAINBOW by Thomas Pynchon

#100 The Telescope

2008-06-15T13:44:00.000-07:00

I finally learned how to use the telescope so I get to take it off my list! Travis came over and helped me figure it out. Now when Bryce gets back home, we'll have to go outside and use it. Also, I checked out 3 books from the library that are on my list. I will post my list of books shortly.

The straw that broke the camel's back

2008-05-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

Ok now I know how that damn camel felt. I am so sick of stupid people and their inability to be honest. I am sick of being ignored. Sick of many other things as well but today was the last straw. If someone asks you a question, do you answer them? Uh, YES would be the correct answer. But some people don't seem to get that. Any answer is better than none at all. And the thing is I think that the situation is partly my fault. It almost always is to some extent. I tend to mess many things up for myself. Then I look back at the situation and can almost pinpoint the exact moment that caused the damn problem. BUT it is not entirely my fault and I refuse to take the blame for most of the stupid stuff people do. I'll take responsibility for my part and that's it. Why is it so hard for people to be nice? I'm just utterly and completely done. That's it. I will not be treated this way anymore. Period. From now on, I'm going to be completely, in-your-face honest. I'm going to stop trying to be someone else or who I think people want me to be and just be happy with who I am.

101 things in 1001 days

2008-05-25T17:17:00.000-07:00

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

When am I starting? Thursday, May 1, 2008

When will my 1001 days be up? Thursday, January 27, 2011

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

Here's my list. It's in no certain order. Maybe I'll do that later.

1. Take a picture of myself for 365 Days (from 6/29/08 to 6/29/09)
2. Mail in a secret to Post Secret
3. List 100 things that make me happy
4. Lose 50 lbs
5. Learn kickboxing
6. Start running (or at least jogging) and be able to run/jog a mile
7. Learn 5 new dances (1/5)
8. Go somewhere out of the country
9. Study another language
10. Buy a new wardrobe for work
11. Buy a house
12. Stop cussing for 1 week every year (0/3)
13. Go on at least one real date (0/1)
14. Explore the possibility of a new job
15. Stop drinking soda for two weeks a year (0/6)
16. Learn to cook one really great dish
17. Pay off my computer
18. Put $5.00 in a savings account for each goal I accomplish (0/101)
19. Save all my change for a year for vacation
20. Donate at least $100/yr to a good cause of my choosing (0/300)
21. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity
22. Learn anger management & acquire more patience
23. Read 10 great literary masterpieces a year (0/30)
24. Read all of the New Testament
25. Watch at least 25 of AFI’s Top Films (0/25)
26. Go to at least 2 concerts (0/2)
27. Try doing karaoke
28. Buy a beautiful set of bedding and donate all of my old ones
29. Spend 2 weeks a year without Internet (0/6)
30. Play paintball and laser tag
31. Quit smoking
32. Spend at least 2 hours a week just playing with Bryce
33. Wear sexy underwear
34. Recycle more than just cans
35. Keep a plant alive for at least a year
36. Go to my father’s grave once a year & find a way to forgive him 37. Forgive my mom or let it go
38. Write in my blog 2x a month
39. private
40. Print 250 pictures and put them in albums or frames
41. Do something nice once a month anonymously (1/36)
42. Take my son to see a professional sporting event
43. Keep a log of nice things said to me and refer back to it when I’m upset
44. Let my hair grow for a year
45. Do some kind of exercise for at least 30 minutes, 5x a week
46. Take Bryce to Utah to see Bryce Canyon
47. Get a part-time, second job and use that income to pay off debts
48. Get a new, fuel-efficient car
49. Save 10% of my income and invest it wisely
50. Get a tattoo
51. Keep a dream journal
52. Take Bryce to see a drive-in movie
53. Go to a real aquarium
54. Learn ASL so I can talk to my uncle
55. Find a church for Bryce and me to attend
56. Go on a road trip
57. Attend at least 3 walks for a cause per year (0/9)
58. Get my teeth whitened
59. Go one day each month without my cell phone (0/33)
60. Do not go out to eat for two consecutive weeks per year (0/3)
61. Spend one entire day not saying anything negative
62. Complete the training to become a foster parent
63. Get a pedicure
64. Anonymously pay for someone’s meal or groceries 2 times (0/2)
65. Clean/Organize at least 2 rooms in my house
66. Donate to anysoldier.com
67. Make a family tree for me and my son
68. Get rid of 101 unnecessary material items
69. Get my picture made with Bryce
70. Do some grave rubbings
71. Try a new type of food
72. Get a passport
73. Keep in contact with all my old friends
74. Lose goal weight of 100 lbs
75. Make 5 new friends a year
76. Buy myself one nice piece of jewelry
77. Plan a family reunion for as many family members as possible
78. Learn 3 jokes that always make people laugh
79. Learn and use 1 new word a week
80. Take a multivitamin everyday
81. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen
82. Go to 3 concerts
83. Go to Memphis in May
84. Pray more
85. Post a video on you tube
86. Clean my car inside and out at least once a week
87. Make a cleaning schedule and stick to it
88. Pay off my credit card balance
89. Make a definite decision about going back and getting my Master’s
90. Plant a tree
91. Go bowling with Bryce
92. Donate 1,000,000 grains of rice at freerice.com
93. Go to a play
94. Get a new camera
95. Buy new living room furniture
96. Design my dream home
97. Go camping
98. Go on a float trip
99. Drink more water everyday
100. Learn how to use the telescope or get rid of it
101. Create a new 101 in 1001 list once this one is finished

*those in red are completed blue are ones I'm currently working on
**I reserve the right to change any of my goals if I decide they don't suit me anymore provided I replace them with something else.

I'm going to do it

2008-05-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

I've been working on my list of 101 things in 1001 and it's almost finished. I didn't think I would ever get it done but I'm just a few away. I've already been working on some of the things on the list so my beginning date is earlier this month. I should be posting the entire list either today or tomorrow. YAY! :)

Things really do happen for a reason

2008-04-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

Today a wonderful, validating thing happened. First you'll need just a little backstory.

For the last two years my son has been in school, it has been a constant battle. He is diagnosed as bipolar and ADHD. The last two years have been a living hell dealing with the school district and trying to make them understand that he has an illness. He was just considered a "bad" kid. Since he isn't mentally delayed (quite the opposite actually), I was told that there wasn't really anything they (the school system) could do. Well finally I was given some awesome advice and now things are going much better. As of today, we finalized a behavior plan with the school which will give my son the opportunity to learn to cope with his problems and not for them to call me everytime. So all of the time I have spent with the school, counselors, psychiatrists, advocates, etc. has given me plenty of knowledge on how to deal with the school system.

Ok so the point of this story is that today I was able to use all the knowledge I have gained to help someone else. These people were desperate and wore completely out. I was able to give them enough information to get their grandchild what he needed from the school. His "behavior" was so bad, the school had told these people that their grandchild needed to be institutionalized. That is the LAST resort for any child. Plus this child had 3 or 4 diagnoses that would enable him to fall under the heading of special education. The school had not helped them at all.

Today was so gratifying. I honestly believe there is a reason for everything and this just helps prove that to me. I went through so much and yet was there to help these people and give them the information needed to solve some of their problems. I truly hope things work out for them and their grandchild. I have GOT to stop questioning why things happen to me and just go with it. If anyone reads this and needs information about the sort of things I'm writing about, I'd be more than happy to help you.

Oh and it was Administrative Professional's Day (formerly Secretary's Day) so I got gifts. Isn't that a fabulous way to get me out of my funk?! So to all you Administrative people out there, hope you had a great day!

Vacation time again

2008-04-08T19:28:00.000-07:00

So we all know it's almost that time of year again. Time to dig out the swimsuits (and hope we fit in them) and go somewhere fun! I am having a terrible time figuring out where to go this year. I had just about settled on Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX area because there are so many things to do. Now I can't seem to make up my mind. Plus this will be the first time my son and I have gone on vacation by ourselves. Usually we go with friends or my sister and her family. It's a little scary. I hate driving in big cities. *sigh* Anyone out there actually read this and have any ideas for a kid-friendly (and mom-friendly) vacations???? We've been to St. Louis and Gulf Shores in the past and had a great time but I wanted to try something different this year. I still have a little while to make decision. Maybe I'll get it together by the time the summer officially rolls around. :)

Life is full of choices

2008-03-05T15:53:00.000-08:00

My son's birthday was Monday. He turned 7 years old. This is the first year that I wouldn't let my mother speak to him on his birthday. To make a long story short, my mother is a severe alcoholic and occasional drug user. As of Christmas 2008, my middle sister and I decided we just could not subject our children to the kind of things she is doing. While we were visiting for Christmas, she decided it'd be a great idea to just light up a joint in the kitchen. Hell no. We don't allow our children around things like that. So anyway, this is the first time since he was born that he didn't get to see or talk to my mother for his birthday. She was PISSED! She called about 20 times. I felt horrible but also felt that I needed to stick to my decision. I'm hoping she will decide to straighten up b/c that is the only way she'll be able to ever see my son again.

I just really needed to let that out. I hate this. I really love and miss my mom but I could no longer handle the stress of dealing with her. She is so hurtful and mean. The world revolves around her and she will do anything to blame her actions on someone else. *sigh* I guess this is true of most alcoholics but how are the families of these people supposed to deal with their problems? I hate this and it's one of the hardest things I've ever done...

Just thoughts...

2008-02-22T19:36:00.000-08:00

I am a 26 year old, fairly normal woman. I have a good job, great kid, mostly great friends, and most things are just all around good for me right now. So why in the hell do things keep falling apart for me??? And why is there always such childish drama around? I mean I thought at some point you grew up and things changed. Apparently, I am sooo wrong. Why do people you consider your best friends hurt you the most? I have GOT to stop letting people rule my emotions like I do. When will I learn that it's my life and who cares what everyone else says or does?

*And yes these are all rhetorical questions. :)

Weather people are overpaid

2008-02-21T12:17:00.000-08:00

I think our weather people need some serious re-training. All I heard yesterday was about this HUGE ice storm we were supposed to have last night. People were attacking Wal-Mart so they would be prepared for it.

This morning, I wake up and look outside...nothing. I get my son ready for school and I get myself ready for work. He is actually waiting for the bus until I realized that we've been waiting for too long. I turned on the TV and every stinkin' school in a 50-mile radius is closed!

What is going on? There is more ice on my porch than on the road. I mean literally NOTHING was on the road. It was a perfectly fine day to go to work and school. Well when the public school is closed, my work is usually closed except for the office staff (which I am). I called my boss and she decides she isn't coming either...at this point I think that maybe everyone in my town is having a mass hallucination of ice or snow or something.

It turns out, the school administration was just being cautious. There was more weather predicted for later on in the day and they didn't want to take any chances. But still. Give me a break would ya? I cannot believe that I had to use a sick day from work for NO REASON. *sigh* And after all that, we didn't get anything after all...what would these people do in Michigan or Minnesota???

Pretend relatives

2008-02-20T15:31:00.000-08:00

Apparently I have waaay too many pretend relatives. Since my real mom is crazy and my dad is dead, I have a pretend mom and a pretend dad (which by the way have never met). I also have assorted kids that call me their aunt. Today my kiddo (who is almost 7) asked me if one of these kids was his cousin. Hmmm. Good question. Technically no but kind of yes. So I told him it was similar to having a pretend Mawmaw and Pappy. He said "Ok, well maybe our whole life can just be pretend". *sigh* I guess this means I may need to lay off of adding anymore pretend relatives to our lives for a little while....

And here I was thinking I was making a pretty normal life for him.

an apology and movie trivia :)

2008-02-13T15:28:00.001-08:00

So I guess my intention of writing all the time didn't work out. lol I'm going to start from today and see how it goes. How about I just do a little no brainer thing. I'm going to post some movie trivia. These are some of my favorite quotes. If anyone is reading this and needs the answers, leave me a comment asking me and I'll send them to you.

Bonus points for knowing the movie and who said it!

~What we've got here is failure to communicate.

~A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

~Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

~Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

~Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

~Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns!

~Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

~If I'd been a ranch, they would've named me the Bar Nothing.

~I'll remember you, honey. You're the one that got away.

~Personally, Veda's convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young. (One of my favorite movies!)

~Chivalry is not only dead, it's decomposed.

~Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?

~Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?

~Sometimes you gotta say, "What the fuck."

~All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.

~There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society -- outside of a kennel.

Good Luck!

New Start

2007-10-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

So I first started this blog in order to try something out. I decided after a few posts that I didn't like it so now I'm just gonna write whatever. If there is anyone that was actually reading that other stuff, I'm sorry. I just didn't have it in me. Hopefully, I'll have some interesting things to say though. Well everyone have a good night!