Life is full of choices

My son's birthday was Monday. He turned 7 years old. This is the first year that I wouldn't let my mother speak to him on his birthday. To make a long story short, my mother is a severe alcoholic and occasional drug user. As of Christmas 2008, my middle sister and I decided we just could not subject our children to the kind of things she is doing. While we were visiting for Christmas, she decided it'd be a great idea to just light up a joint in the kitchen. Hell no. We don't allow our children around things like that. So anyway, this is the first time since he was born that he didn't get to see or talk to my mother for his birthday. She was PISSED! She called about 20 times. I felt horrible but also felt that I needed to stick to my decision. I'm hoping she will decide to straighten up b/c that is the only way she'll be able to ever see my son again.

I just really needed to let that out. I hate this. I really love and miss my mom but I could no longer handle the stress of dealing with her. She is so hurtful and mean. The world revolves around her and she will do anything to blame her actions on someone else. *sigh* I guess this is true of most alcoholics but how are the families of these people supposed to deal with their problems? I hate this and it's one of the hardest things I've ever done...

Just thoughts...

I am a 26 year old, fairly normal woman. I have a good job, great kid, mostly great friends, and most things are just all around good for me right now. So why in the hell do things keep falling apart for me??? And why is there always such childish drama around? I mean I thought at some point you grew up and things changed. Apparently, I am sooo wrong. Why do people you consider your best friends hurt you the most? I have GOT to stop letting people rule my emotions like I do. When will I learn that it's my life and who cares what everyone else says or does?

*And yes these are all rhetorical questions. :)

Pretend relatives

Apparently I have waaay too many pretend relatives. Since my real mom is crazy and my dad is dead, I have a pretend mom and a pretend dad (which by the way have never met). I also have assorted kids that call me their aunt. Today my kiddo (who is almost 7) asked me if one of these kids was his cousin. Hmmm. Good question. Technically no but kind of yes. So I told him it was similar to having a pretend Mawmaw and Pappy. He said "Ok, well maybe our whole life can just be pretend". *sigh* I guess this means I may need to lay off of adding anymore pretend relatives to our lives for a little while....

And here I was thinking I was making a pretty normal life for him.